piggydc's Xanga

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 04:52:40 GMT

why kill yourself?

"More than one soul dies in a suicide."'

William Dickens.
Jean-Paul Blanchard.
Sonya Raymakers.
Catrina Holmes.

The list is like a student roll call, of sorts. But in the tragic sense. They were all students. I've never met them. Nevertheless, their voluntarily taking their own lives by jumping in the middle of a local train track hits home, in too many ways:

1) It all happened right here in my hometown, Palo Alto;
2) They were all students at Gunn High school;
3) My cousin also shared their fate two years ago (just in a different way).

To elaborate on the 2nd point, I'm not a graduate of Gunn. But I know many people who are, more than I can count. Most of my HS friends are Titan alumnis. I hailed from their high school rival. Our two schools were always at each other, but from what I remember (perhaps mistakenly), they evened each other out: Paly was better at athletics, but Gunn constantly ranked higher academically. And that just makes me wonder -- does that have something to do with the latter's suicides? Do kids at Gunn study so much harder, that it increases the pressure they're getting from all sides to succeed in school no matter what the cost, until they cave in? I really have no idea, it's just a thought....

That doesn't mean Paly hasn't had its share of suicides though. Paly is actually closer to the train track (it's literally right next to it). And my friend's brother also committed suicide in the same manner back in high school. But a farther distance to the track didn't stop these Gunn kids from jumping in front of those trains. I mean, cripes, even folks across the country are hearing about this.

When something like this happens so close to home, it automatically makes you think about what in common did you have with these kids, other than being in the same school district. I remember struggling back in high school myself -- there were times when I thought it'd never end. But suicide never crossed my mind -- I guess you just adapt, and take it day by day. But then again, these kids were probably higher performers and had higher expectations, from themselves and others. Who knows.

Last week, after the latest suicide, I was driving around Palo Alto at night. I crossed one of the train track's intersection (E. Meadow & Alma), and saw a cop car sitting next to the track. But there was also a # of adults lounging/standing around. Considering that the latest suicide happened at night, it was clear that they were all there to prevent anymore kids from killing themselves.

My curiosity piqued, I drove to the next track intersection (Charleston); no parents were there, but sure enough, another cop car was waiting in the darkness.

While it's comforting to know that extra steps like these are being taken, I'm afraid that they're mere band-aids to the underlying problem. Long-term preventions to teen suicides are key here, but it's easier said than done. Many would say that communication is crucial -- amongst the students, their peers, parents, teachers, & counselors. I agree, but unfortunately, going to others for help is still stigmatized in our society. If someone next to you is excelling in nearly every conceivable way, is predicted to have a bright future (in this case, going to a good college), and doesn't need any help, then why should I get help? It might make someone feel less than they are.

One piece of good news though: someone started a Facebook Gunn Alumni Support Group, which I think is a big step in the right direction. Who better to help out these kids than the ones who've been there themselves? They're looking to take care of their own. The Titan alumnis (esp the recently graduated -- less of a generation gap and all) can tell the current Titans, "Hey, we know what you're going through. But it's not the end of the world, and we're here to listen if you need us. We want to listen." That sorta thing. I'm no Gunn grad, but I'm proud of these people, my friends included.

“The most authentic thing about us is our capacity to create, to overcome, to endure, to transform, to love and to be greater than our suffering.” -- Ben Okri

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 04:52:01 GMT

gaming

I just beat the game Call of Duty: Modern Warfare on my xBox 360. Thanks to Ed B and Adam for making it all possible (by supplying the game + console)! I really enjoyed it, and was amazed by the graphics, the level of detail, and the authenticity of the game. Props to the game developers, they really did their homework. I wondering what combat vets have to say about it.

Screen cap from CoD: US Marines in urban combat

I still don't intend to get every single big game out there; I don't want to turn into a game addict. But the ones I really have my eyes on are Batman: Arkham Asylum, and Guitar Hero (or Rockband). Especially since with the latter, you can play with your friends.

3's a charm.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 04:50:42 GMT

homecoming Brits

I got a lot of respect for British Soldiers. And after seeing this clip, I respect them even more. They share a lot of the same burdens as do American forces.

I hope that nothing like this scene happens in the US. As one commenter put it, "I see that they parade with bayonets fixed. I give them great credit for not giving in to the temptation for one last bayonet charge into the jihadis, but then I would give them equal credit and enjoyed it more if they had.

Thursday, November 05, 2009

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 06:15:53 GMT

Halloween '09

This year's Halloween was kinda tame, but overall, ended up pretty well.

As much as I wanted to, I decided not to dress up for work b/c I'd show up in the same 'ol costume I did for previous years. I did shop around for another costume, but it wasn't in stock until it was too late. So all of that was a bummer considering that for the first time I can remember, Halloween finally fell on a Saturday night.

On that Sat, my cousin from HK, Viki, was actually in SF for a few days. So I drove up with my Uncle Ed, and we had lunch with her and my other ABC cousin, Kev. The "Crepevine" restaurant was delicious, I wish they had more of those around.

We brought Viki back home b/c she wanted to see Bailey, and I thought if she were around that nite, it'd be a good exposure for her to America's version of Halloween....or at least the traditional version of it. In Hong Kong, they don't have Trick-or-Treating; just costume parties at bars & clubs. We have a lot of those here in the US, but Viki can go to any party back home. So it was like, why take her to more of the same here?

It was a pleasant surprise that quite a few kids dropped by this year, and we almost ran out of candy. It's always awesome to see what they'd dress up as. As usual, the little ones were really cute (one boy was a Stormtrooper; a girl was in a fluffy ladybug costume in which you could hardly see her). Bailey also greeted the Trick-or-Treaters, and as usual, got a lot of attention.

Call me boring and ol' fashioned, but as alluring as costume parties are with all the floating eye candy in skanky costumes, i just rather stay home and hand out candies. You can't help but smile at seeing the cute kids all dressed up and cheery (or shy). Trick-or-Treating is one tradition I hope never goes away, and it's good to know that it's still alive, somewhat.

Me, Viki, & Bailey w/ Devil Fangs

Thursday, November 05, 2009

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 06:14:02 GMT

cages

Can't imagine living in one of those. I don't know how my parents did it back in their day if their HK homes even remotely resembled these "cages".
Count your blessings.

Sunday, November 01, 2009

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 22:29:10 GMT

"Are you feeling manly today?"

That was the first Q my instructor asked me. And the word, "Sure!", left my mouth even as I wondered why he was asking.

"We're gonna have a pink parachute today."

I told him that as long as it didn't have a big "Hello, Kitty" face on it, I was cool with it.

I was looking forward to go skydiving for a long time. It's near the top of my "30 Things To Do Before I Turn 30" bucket list. I've asked several friends if they'd go with me; the most common responses I got were along the lines of: a) never; b) I don't know, I'll think about it; and c) never. And the tones which they were delivered in were fear, nervous, anxiety, etc.

I can't say I blame 'em. One of these individuals was Debby. But she said that she had a friend who wanted to go skydiving again, and was thinking about doing it in the near future (at the time). Deb said she'd let me know. And sure enough, she did.

Waking up hella early on a Sat morning was tough but, for this trip, worth it. Deb and I took off from her place, along with her friends Jane and Vivi. We met up at Al Campo with Deb's friend-and-fellow-Paly-alumni, Chieko, and her roomie, Melissa. With the exception of 2nd-time jumper Chieko, all of us were completely green. (We proudly made Deb jump with us, esp thanks to Jane.)

Thankfully, the day had great clear, cool weather, and not a whole lot of people were on-site when we arrived. Everyone was required to read/sign waivers, which had repeats of words like "injury", "death", "uninsured" all over it. And the "introductory/orientation" video was kinda odd -- probably b/c it had a 3 foot-long-bearded Amish man who may have never seen a parachute delivering it.

We all met our respective tandem instructors and camera(wo)man who'd be making the jump with us. (Afterwards, the girls were talking about how this so-and-so instructor was cute/hot -- I couldn't relate to that, but at least I had a cute camera-girl.) Mine were, respectively, R2 (real name was Robbie, but he said there were several other Robbie's, hence "R2") and Karlee.

First out the plane: Melissa...

The plane reached 13,000 feet, and it got awfully cold up there. I didn't really feel nervous or scared until they opened the jump door, and as our instructors edged us towards the abyss. It was then when it actually hit me that this was for real. Melissa was the 1st one lined up, and seeing her go out gave you a "Oh S***!" feeling in your gut. Then it was my turn. I thought R2 was gonna count to 3 before we jumped, but he didn't. And Karlee (my camera-girl) was jumping backwards before us, hanging onto my wrist, pulling us out with her. S-C-A-R-Y feeling. I wonder what the other girls were feeling as they jumped.

The plane drops off a load.

Acting wacky for the camera.

Before you know it, YOU ARE OUT. The wind howled and put pressure in your ears. Karlee kept falling backwards, recording and shooting the whole free fall, which lasted about a minute.

The wind making me "smile" during free-fall.

"Pinkie" chute

Then your tandem instructor deploys the chute. You feel a jerk in your body as it straightens out with your feet towards the earth. He briefly let me hang onto the toggles (used to steer the chute), but he conducted the landing. At first, it looked like we were gonna land in the nearby freeway (CA-99) and onto some incoming cargo trucks. But thankfully, we had a smooth landing on a grassy field instead.

Bird-eye's view of Cali.

Touching down.

Here's Debby, the girl who reportedly cried on the plane.... :]

We were all feeling queasy afterwards. Because during that last minute as the instructor is steering the parachute, you're moving at pretty sharp angles into the wind. I wasn't expecting that; I think it got to all of us. I tipped R2 well considering that my life was literally in his hands. Even now, the whole experience seems so surreal.

(Copyright: Debs)

Afterwards, we caravanned over to a Denny's and had a good time over lunch. I was glad I didn't had anything to eat beforehand.

Anyhow, jumping out of a plane was worth every cent. Definitely won't be the last. But thanks to all for an awesome, memorable 1st-time experience!

Monday, October 26, 2009

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 06:58:03 GMT

his bday

On Sat nite, I went to my sis's and her hubby's home to celebrate Damien's birthday. Also present were Dame's dad, his stepmom, his sis, his sis's bf Sean, Kevin, and Kev's dad. And can't forget Bailey the dog.

We gathered in the backyard, and had a small toast to Damien. His sis, Jess, did the honors: "We miss you...we're always thinking about you every day...." It concluded with a more cheery "Happy Birthday, Damien". And then the toast.

(The toast was champagne mixed with mango-nectar juice -- the best alchy beverage I ever had!!! probably b/c it was light and thx to the juice lol)

We also had a bday cheesecake for him, and it said something along the lines of, "We miss you Damien". I felt torn up especially for his dad, Uncle J.

After a great dinner, we played Beatlles Rockband. My sis and her hubby has the full set: 2 guitars, the drums, & mic. Everybody knows the Beattles, but despite the band's endurance, they're kinda before my time. So a lot of the songs I didn't know. I tried the drums for the first time, and quite enjoyed it actually. Maybe slightly more so than the guitar. Anyhow, we all had a great time till midnite.

Happy birthday, Damien. We miss you, cuz.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 06:57:29 GMT

Carlsbad

Last week, I spent 4 days in Carlsbad, a city 30 min. north of San Diego. My folks were down there at their timeshare for a week, so I took 2 days off work to join them. My cousin, Kev, was able to join us as well, and we played a round of golf with our dads. It was a really challenging course, but I think I did pretty good in the last 9 holes. At the 18th hole, I even used my 3-wood club for the first time, and the tee off was one that left me feeling pretty good.

I also was able to see one of my best buds from college. Darren was kind enough to drive all the way from SD. We had dinner at Islands, which was a good choice by Darren b/c I haven't been to that chain for like 2 years since it's not around in NorCal. I forgot how good their lava flows were....

Anyhow, it was great hanging out with Darren for a few hours. He also was kind enough to give me a lift to SD airport when I needed it (and Kev too). Hopefully, I can chill w/ "Goldenboy" again one day soon.

The rest of the time there, I just took it easy -- hit the gym, the pool....when it comes to Four Seasons' Aviara, their quality is hard to beat.

It was a great, laid-back weekend. Probably going again next May.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 06:56:43 GMT

we let them get away

(Afghanistan, July 2009)

Some excerpts from an article:

U.S. Marines trapped Taliban fighters in a residential compound and persuaded the insurgents to allow women and children to leave. The troops then moved in - only to discover that the militants had slipped out, dressed in women's burqa robes.

The fighters, who may owe their lives to the new U.S. commander's emphasis on limiting civilian casualties, were among hundreds of militants who have fled the offensive the Marines launched .... in southern Helmand province.
-
Militants seemed keen to avoid an all-out fight with the better armed Marines.
-
Because of the civilians, the U.S. troops held their fire, and instead used a military translator and village elder to persuade the militants to free women and children.

Two groups - children and what appeared to be women in burqas - left the compound. When the Marines entered, they found no one. The fighters had clearly donned burqas and slipped away among the civilians, according to Marines who took part in the mission.

The Americans didn't have female Marines with them to search the robed figures and make sure no men were among them in disguise. And the new U.S. and NATO commander, Gen. Stanley McChrystal, has said he would rather see militants escape than for civilians to be harmed in battle.

This article clearly illustrates one of the challenges of the current War in Afghanistan. US forces are told to do whatever they can to limit civilian casualties -- not just to win the populace's hearts & minds, but it's the right thing to do. Yet, that comes with a huge risk. The militants/Taliban/al-Qaeda/whatever you want to call them.... takes advantage of the order. They hide amongst/behind the civilians, just daring the Americans to fire. And if the latter does, even if they succeed, they risk wounding or killing the Afghan people -- which isn't good PR, essentially.

Sadly enough, this isn't new. It happened way back in '93 in Somalia (re: Black Hawk Down). Except back then, I remember reading that the unarmed Somalis willingly shielded their fellow militants, whereas in Afghanistan, that may or may not be the case.

I understand why our boys & gals in the field have certain ROE (Rules of Engagement) that makes sense in the big picture. But it certainly doesn't make their jobs easier, and may even put them at greater danger down the line.

War may have always been hell. But these days, it's much more complicated with civilians in the cross-fire. Napoleon's era was simpler.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 06:56:11 GMT

curb your enthusiasm

Here's another example where I catch onto great shows really late into the game.

Larry David was the co-creator of Seinfeld, and now he has his own show. He plays a fictionalized version himself, who always ends up in really socially awkward situations. Situations that could happen in our every day lives, but completely exaggerated to that point where it's unbelievable (his character is kinda stupid) but still hella funny. And Larry has other celebrities and real life friends, like the Seinfeld / Ted Danson / etc, appear on the show. This one recent ep has him being beaten up by Rosie O'Donnell. Hilarious.

I only saw 2 eps over last weekend. Too bad the show only airs on HBO. And it's been going on for quite a few seasons already. Again, as with Scrubs, I catch on pretty late.